Legoland football is in shame tonight after the Legoland Derby, the league's showpiece, ended in 3 people being killed and dozens injured. Rampant hooliganism was shown not only by both sets of supporters on the terraces but also by the players themselves on the pitch. The final result, a 1-0 win for Legoland United was overshadowed by the murder of the match referee and a police investigation is now underway.

"We believe it was players from either Legoland Football Club or Legoland United, or both, that murdered Mr Jealous Dickus. We shall be studying video tapes of the match in an attempt to find the culprit, or culprits, of this awful crime", said an Empire Police spokesfig.

"They're really kicking each other's heads in", said RTL presenter Mr Bosco commenting on the unfolding brawl that erupted between players from the two teams 36 minutes into the tie. Fights broke out all over the pitch among the players and the referee was attacked by players near the tunnel according to witnesses. It is unknown what triggered the initial fight between LFC and United midfielders but what is clear is that within minutes of the first fists being flung there was fights everywhere.

LFC players Francesco Toldo, Antonio Benarrivo, David Bianchini and Francesco Coco were all shown by the NTL cameras beating up United striker Leper. Leper later was sent to hospital with suspected broken ribs. An attack on LFC's Romario was also broadcast around the world, an attack instigated by none other than fellow countryman Martins Adailton. "I couldn't believe what was going on" said LFA president Mr Fifa after the match. "Both parties have much explaining to do, they won't get away from this one so lightly", he added.

LFC's Romario speaking from Legoland City Hospital 3 hours after the match explained what happened to him. "The brutes from United all converged on me. There was at least 2 hitting me and giving my head the bruises on my head you see now and then I saw Antonioli coming towards me. It was a nightmare. The game will have to be replayed".

LFC manager Wanderley Luxembergo agreed with his player Romario. "It most certainly will have to be played again. You can't injure our player so badly that he has to be taken off and then play on. The refereeing was atrocious, not one person was dismissed!"

Indeed the only surprise in this match was that no one was sent off. The game itself began brightly with United having the best chances early on. Only 8 minutes in and a superb floating freekick from Martins Adailton went just past the right upright of Toldo's goal.

Two minutes later and Leper saw his powerful 40 yard shot parried by Toldo onto the post but the LFC keeper collected the ball on the second attempt. LFC did manage to break through United's rearguard in the 15th minute, however, Viktor Leonenko scuffed at the ball, and seemingly injured himself, when only Antonioli stood in the way of him giving the Blues the lead.

Minutes later and Leonenko picked up a yellow card for striking David Balleri in one of the many off the ball incidents. In the 24th minute a superb ball from United defender Fabio Galante picked out Leper who managed to storm past 2 LFC players and steer a terrific shot towards Toldo's goal. But Toldo executed a magnificent save and pushed Leper's effort unto the post and away from danger.

After these early scares Luxembergo attempted to shore up his defence by changing to a 4-4-2 formation and brought on defender Davide Tentoni for the injured Leonenko in the 26th. LFC then had two clear cut chances before the fracas broke out. Raul saw a well-struck effort whisker past Antonioli's left post and Pedone saw his strike roll past United's right-hand post with the United ‘keeper motionless.

The game was the stopped for 30 minutes and was in-fact called-off only for the police to order that the match must continue for security reasons. When the match finally restarted in the 40th minute Leper and Romario were on their way to hospital and were replaced by Ruud van Nistelrooy and Daniel Tjernström. Just before the half-time break Adailton saw Toldo unaware and managed to score a spectacular goal from the half-way line only to see his goal ruled out by the step-in referee. The Gardinian earned himself a yellow, one of 7 issued in the game for dissent.

The second half saw Legoland FC begin to take control of the tie. Seven minutes in and Raul saw his chip bounce off the frame of the United goal. It seemed it was not to be Raul's day. Ten minutes later and Raul was on the ground after being head-butted by Fabio Galante. LFC had other chances, Rivaldo saw a sublime low freekick drive curle just past the post. A break from a resulting United corner kick saw Hagi storm down the right-hand side a thump a powerful shot at Antonioli but the United keeper saved well.

When Daniel Tjernström missed a near open goal with just 11 minutes to go he was substituted for Nicolas Anelka. Then van Nistelrooy did a 'Tjernström' and missed a sitter just 6 yards out after sloppy defending by LFC laid the ball directly in his path. But two minutes later, 3 minutes from the end of the game, a disastrous goal kick from Toldo saw the ball land onto Galante's feet only for the player to stroll up to the LFC area and in what seemed like an eternity, pick out the top left corner and blast home the winner.

LFC were ruined. LFC pounded the United backline but to no avail. There were 7 strikes on goal in the last minutes including hitting the post on two occasions, by Rivaldo in the 89th and Raul in the 94th, but the ball just wouldn't go in. And it never did.