Legoland United have lifted the Serie A title today in style after a dazzling 4-1 victory over a deplorable Celebs side at an emotionally charged San Siro stadium in the capital. The triumph, which guaranteed the club the league crown for the first time since 1999, was fittingly secured by their most famous of players, the disabled striking trio of Leper, Christy, and Cripple.

In front of a massive crowd, the Reds went ahead in the 9th minute when Cripple latched onto a David Coulibaly cross to head home past Celebs’ custodian Toni Prats. Prats, playing in possibly his last game before retirement was fuming at his defenders, most noticeably Taribo West and Alessandro Pierini, as defeat would relegate the Nirut giants should Fiorentina pick up a point in their game against Juventus.

Twenty minutes later and the loudest cheer of the day was observed when news came through on the San Siro’s speakers that Daniele Dessena, Legoland United’s on loan midfielder at Parma, had given the home side the lead in Amrap against LFC. Parma fans, whose team have openly clashed in the media with the Cartel this season, were equally pleased with their minifigs’ work and revelled in the opportunity to end LFC’s title hopes and break LFC fans hearts.

Ten minutes following the goal in Amrap, the destinies of Legoland United, LFC, Fiorentina and the Celebs were effectively sealed as Fiorentina took the lead against Juventus in Ecnerolf and, in the same minute, at the San Siro Christy beat the offside trap and rounded Toni Prats to make it 2-0. A carnival atmosphere erupted amongst the San Siro crowd whilst the travelling fans of the Celebs knew they now needed a real miracle to evade the great plunge.

Hopes were cruelly ended on the half-time mark as Fiorentina’s Reto Ziegler answered his critics and scored his first goal for his club and arguably the season’s most important. With Fiorentina 2-0 up, the Celebs now needed to defeat Legoland United to stay up on goal difference. Lionel Messi pulled one back for the Celebs in the 51st minute but as the clock ticked by it became apparent that Juventus were doing little to help their Nirut neighbours playing defensively at the Artemio Franchi stadium, despite being 2-0 down.

Legoland United wrapped up the game in the final few minutes. Leper, this season’s top goalscorer, found the target in the 86th minute, notching up his 16th of the season, and three minutes later Christy finished the contest and the season with his second goal of the game.

Slobs relegated, Fiorentina saved and LFC collapse in Amrap

Legoland United’s trouncing of the Celebs and Fiorentina’s 2-0 win over Juventus has resulted in the relegation of Mr Prints super club. Speaking after the result, millionaire businessfig Mr Prints expressed his sadness but ensured fans that manager Giovanni Trapattoni would keep his job. “He’ll be tied down if he has to be”, he said. Elsewhere, LFC’s end to the season was “extremely disappointing” said the soon to be departing club president, Gheorghe Hagi. Speculation is rife that the 1-0 loss incurred to Parma could see coach Patrice Loko shown the door in the coming days.

Share

Email

Home Archive