12 September 2009
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The Olympic Stadium is expected to be visited by a ball and chain in the coming days. The ground, located in the outskirts of the Legoland capital, has been voted a "giant waste of money" in a poll carried out by PwP.
Labeling Legoland's Olympic Stadium as a "great white elephant", LFA president Mr Fifa has this morning confirmed that the arena will be torn down and replaced by a "less in-your-face" structure. Speaking before leaving on yet another skiing holiday, the general lard ass described the doomed ground as "an historic place but one not liked by the average minifig on the street". Despite causing some ire implying that he was an average minifig, Mr Fifa was not speaking total B.S. today.
An opinion poll carried out by analysts PricewoodhousePieces last month showed that over 70% of those interviewed deemed the Olympic Stadium "ugly" whilst more than 85% said it was not worth the estimated £400m cost. A common criticism is that the arena was constructed in the suburbs and therefore not accessible to the impoverished masses in the urban centres who tend to walk by foot when not lounging around.
Constructed a year ago in September 2008, the arena broke the record SuperLeague match attendance when 1933 deranged minifigs packed the ground to view the Serie A meeting of Old Rule rivals Legoland FC and Legoland United. Legoland United won that game 2-0, a result that proved pivotal in clinching their third Serie A title last season.
The LFA have confirmed that they will be going out to tender for a new replacement stadium that, assuming planning permission is granted, will be constructed in the capital's old docklands. According to Mr Fifa the problems for the architects will be the stadium size and fitting it into the limited space available. "Due to the environment in that area there are limits on the size a structure can be. This was the reason the Olympic Stadium could not be built there, it simply was too big."
In separate news, the LFA president also confirmed today that capacities of all grounds in Legoland will be reviewed and downsized to fit their true minifig capacity. "It has come to our attention that clubs have been inflating the size of their stadia in marketing brochures to impress minifigs around the world and this has to stop."
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