20 October 2009

LEGOLAND CITY-A heated protest took place in the capital this evening against the number 244 bus service currently being provided to residents of the much maligned Hole Tower and Bracken Slum complexes off Three Horns Parade. Speaking outside a local pizza joint, head of the Hole Tower Residents Association, Mr Barry “the Gnome King” Maguire, said it was “high time the bus company listened to our list of demands”.

The demands, compiled by the association’s members last week, was submitted to the Lego Area Transport Enterprise company on Thursday, Mr Maguire said, but still “no response had been received”, he added.

Mr Maguire hit out at both the firm’s lack of action and the existing service to loud cheers from the group of protesting bums. “We demanded a more regular and reliable service. We demanded toilets on buses but we did not get these. Is this acceptable? Quiet you. No, it’s not!”, said the visibly hopping mad minifig. “We are not pleased with LATE’s lack of movement, and obvious delay tactics, things must improve” said Mr Maguire.

Shedding further light on the demands Mr Maguire’s gave his own very personal explanation. “You can’t imagine how many times I’ve missed the bus because I had to run to the nearest lavatory, and as you know there aren’t many in this kip, all because the 244 bus was late, often way over an hour late” he said. “Many residents have had to resort to hit and run tactics on the side of the street and this has resulted in canals forming on the footpaths, canals that shouldn’t be there”.

Ending his rant, the minifig implied peace might not prevail if LATE did not meet the Hole Tower and Bracken Slum resident’s demands. “We will hijack buses and torch them” he said.

Mr Maguire has had a chequered past having in the past been convicted of vandalism when found guilty of cutting down trees in certain parks in the capital. He earned his moniker the Gnome King by the press as a result.

Mr Heterogeneous Subjectus, Social Affairs correspondent

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