30 October 2009

TRICATHAN-Legoban forces have taken control of Tricathan, the Empire’s 9th and Castleland’s 3rd most populous settlement, after a heavy assault on the township resulted in its complete capitulation this morning.

Reports coming out of the Castleland Autonomous Province state that around 30 heavily armed Legoban attacked Tricathan at 6am this morning, easily overpowering the defenders who were armed with medieval era weaponry. At least 17 minifigs have been confirmed dead.

The news has caused disbelief in the Legoland capital with politicians of all viewpoints declaring their abhorrence at the Legoban’s actions.

The loss of Tricathan is a particularly embarrassing incident for the Empire’s political rulers who recently ordered the demolition and reconstruction of the capital, the aim of which was to construct an entirely new city that emanated Legoland’s grandeur and power to the international community. The fact that these same rulers seem incapable of keeping control of a key township no doubt casts serious questions over Legoland’s true power, or lack of it.

The capture of Tricathan also poses some sober questions. Is the Legoban a growing force and one that could soon be on the doorstep of the Legoland capital? All independent sources seem to confirm that the insurgency is indeed growing, swelled by widespread disillusionment with General Secretary Obnoxious Consensus’ New Brick Order government. The fall of Tricathan is the first time the state has lost control of an urban area since the 1999-2001 Treedon War.

The Legoban are fighting for Legoland to return to what they term the “Classic Castle era”, a time when electricity, television and football did not exist. Their common cause with key ally, Al-Kyeda, is their desire to see the 2006 ban on God overturned.

Mr Incorruptus Informus, Political correspondent

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