11 November 2009
Next Picture
Mr Fifa pictured at the revealing of the new LFA Cup trophy on 23 October. The minifig has not been in the public eye since, and it is suggested he may have left Legoland City for Monroe.
LEGOLAND CITY-Legoland Football Association president Mr Fifa is in hiding this evening after a death threat was made on his life. A menacing email sent to the head offices of Legoland football’s governing body issued the threat and also gave the impression that the targeted minifig may need to fire his press officer.
According to Empire Police’s spokesfig Mr Abstentious Gracious, the brief email “kept to the point”. In full it read, “Dear Mr Fifa. We are going to murder you. Yours truly, Everyone".
Mr Gracious told excited reporters that the full arm of the law would be utilised to hunt down the minifig or minifigs involved and Mr Fifa would soon be able to “rest in peace”.
In an attempt to explain the motive for the death threat the LFA spilled the beans on its new “Legoisation Programme”. The programme’s agenda, the reduction of Italian-Lego influences in Legoland football is approaching the third and final round the LFA said yet this one is the most controversial: the renaming of the last 13 Italian-Lego football clubs and their stadia.
It is believed that many owners and fans are angry at the association’s latest intervention which they consider meddling and offensive. The proprietor of Serie B side Torino, Mr Ronald McDonald, called the proposition to rename his team the Bulls “ridiculous” elaborating that it opened his team to “easy ridicule”. New names proposed for other clubs include Ancient Rome (Roma), The Purple (Fiorentina), White-Blacks (Juventus), Parthenlego (Napoli) and Duchy (Parma).
Yet independent consultants at La Sal have actually backed the LFA’s move claiming that by simply changing their names the club’s value would increase by up to 100%. “Interest in Italian-Lego clubs is low despite the majority having decent facilities and playing staff on their books. The principle issue with these club sides is their lack of marketability in Legoland. Rebranding of their franchise is in La Sal’s opinion advantageous to such clubs for both financial and sporting reasons,” read a statement issued today.
The LFA said they would be going on a “public relations offensive” in the coming days to “win over” club owners and fans alike and reduce the level of anger directed at the organisation’s president. Mr Fifa’s personal spin doctor, Mr Ambiguous Vivacious, told the press that Mr Fifa was a pleasant minifig and there was no reason to kill him. “Minifigs like myself that are lucky to find themselves working with Mr Fifa know that he is a proper gentlefig, candid and accommodating, unavailable to corruption and above all, always working in the interest of himself. There is therefore no reason to believe he is working on behalf of any particular party when making decisions and therefore there’s no reason to kill him”.
This is an unofficial LEGO® website.
The Minifig Times © 2010 Mr Prints Group, Dublin, Ireland
Share 
