19 November 2009

ND LAND-The ND Land Football Association have confirmed their decision to ban ND Land international Thierry Henry for life from both the ND Land Primera Liga and the ND Land national team, a decision which may well result in the premature end of the players' career.

The association said that the decision has been reached following Henry's disgraceful cheating during a certain FIFA World Cup play-off match. An NDFA spokesfig released the following statement to the international press just hours after the tie. "The NDFA have decided to impose a life-time ban on Thierry Henry, which will include playing and managing in the ND Land League and for the national team. We do not tolerate such dishonesty in football and this should be a lesson to anyone who thinks they can dictate matches by cheating."

Henry, a former star for the nation's biggest club, ND Land FC, still thinks he plays for Primera Liga side Shrewsbury yet the NDFA have stressed he no longer does. "Shrewsbury will be forced to terminate Thierry Henry's contract with immediate effect, but will receive compensation for the player's forced departure," the statement read.

Meanwhile it appears that Legoland football may be the future for Thierry Henry if they embrace big lips and let him join one of their sides. However, it remains to be seen if an international ban will be imposed on the player to prevent him from playing anywhere. LFA president Mr Fifa, eager not to increase the number of minifigs that want him dead, refused to comment when asked by reporters. Except for Legoland FC, all Serie A owners asked said they would not welcome Mr Henry to these shores. LFC's Francesco Pedone nevertheless seemed to take a more pragmatic stance. "We'll check up on his cheating abilities and if they meet our high standards we may consider him, even though we are not partial to ND Landers".

Mr Armchairus Fanus, Sports correspondent

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