22 February 2010

Running street battles between security forces and the capital's residents have erupted in Legoland City tonight with reports of several minifigs killed. Disturbances broke out in the city centre when dozens of minifigs started smashing in shop windows and hijacking and burning cars in anger at the government's apparent mismanagement of the economy.

A clearly irritated Chief Biggus Piggus, head of the Empire Police, commented briefly to the Minifig Times to confirm that his baton welding minifigs were ordered by General Secretary Obnoxious Consensus not to intervene as the army's Imperial Stormtroopers were to be set loose upon the demonstrators instead.

Images showing stormtroopers beating and kicking unarmed civilians have been beamed around the world to much condemnation.

With General Secretary Obnoxious Consensus only discernible by his nonappearance in public, the sole official word from the government came tonight from the Ministry for Propaganda and Truth. Spokesfig for the ministry, Lergott Crooms, held the communists responsible for the trouble speaking on state TV, RTL.

"The incidents tonight, minor as they were, indicate there is a threat still posed by militant communists who have infiltrated our society. Although these hoodlums are not widely supported, such fanatics can cause much damage to the private property of law abiding citizens. As such, the names of suspected individuals should be reported to the secret police to ensure peace and law prevail".

Mr Cordell Drums, Political correspondent

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