he mother of all scandals is how state broadcaster RTL broke the news. And what a scandal it is. Leaked reports from
the Ministry of Peace has revealed that a massive arms deal was struck with the Kingdom of the Capricas earlier this month. Upwards of £80m worth of
arms and military minifigs were sold to what the government of the Empire of Legoland has only recently termed a "rogue state" and "military threat". To add
additional spice, the deal has contravened the government's very own arms embargo it placed on the kingdom last month.
For Obnoxious Consensus, it was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. In power since 2006, the New Brick Order leader has lead the Empire from
boom to boost in 5 years of reign.
Consensus denied today's decision was related to the arms deal, claiming it was the changing face of politics that
has forced his hand.
"The unjustified witch-hunt
of my party colleagues over 2 years by the opposition-controlled media has made me realise that politics is
no longer honourable.
I have no doubt that this latest conspiracy was designed to oust me, yet let it be known, I walked, I did not get pushed! Negative campaigning and
hyperbole have reached new heights yet they did not defeat me."
Before being whisked away, the Empire's once second most powerful minifig gave a parting shot at whistleblowers.
"Whoever gave the media this ammunition needs to take a good look at their self
and ask, are they even plastic?"
Legoland Pound devalued for first time ever
Central bank makes historic unprecedented move to prevent triple-dip recession
he Central Bank has devalued the Legoland Pound by 50% in value against the currency of its largest trading partner, ND Land.
The decision was made to enable the printing of hundreds of millions in of new money.
The revaluing of the Empire's currency sees both currencies now share equal parity. Central Bank chief Alexander Rehn said the move should
make exports from the Empire more competitive and should stimulate the availability of credit.
Ironically, economy was on the up, thanks to exports
Figures released by State Economic Bureau shows state coffers growing
he sale of state assets to foreign minifigs has brought in an estimated £250m in funds to the exchequer. The much needed money will assist the Empire
pay off debts accrued since the 2006 boom years. The secret arms deal to Caprica was clearly a key component in the returns. Sources close to the
Ministry of Finance indicate that the state was building up an economic "war chest" and was readying itself to binge buy building resources in the new year.
Major overhaul of Lego football on the cards
LFA to expand "Legoisation" to all minifigs in the league says overweight Mr Fifa
n a dramatic announcement, the LFA has confirmed it is advancing plans to only permit players and managers possessing Lego names from registering
with teams within the Legoland league. The move is expected to see thousands of minifigs rush to apply for new names over the Christmas period when
the application process is set to be opened. The plan is the brainchild of
acting association president and general lardass Henry Fifa, who instigated a similar process of "Legoisation" of club names in recent years.
The Empire's favourite game is set to undergo further changes
Race riots hit the troubled PBR
Riots have broken out in the PBR capital Williams City after local fleshies learnt of the Ministry of Peace's statement declaring its disinterest in
assistance from ethnic fleshies in the PBR army. According to local media outlets, "flesh coloured 'figs" rioted at a baseball game in the first reported case of
hooliganism in the mind-numbing sport.
Pigs' nightmare before Christmas dinner continues
Inter Police struggling whilst holders Lakers and neighbours BFB remain out in front
he idea that money buys success is being put to the test at the Imperial Stadium as Inter Police continue their free-fall down the Serie A standings. This is
despite splashing the cash in the October transfer window when the team broke their previous club record outlay landing former Bulls striker Wook-Jin You in
a £18m deal. The club have not won for 9 games now and dissent is growing amongst the fan base, the overwhelming majority of whom are members of the
Empire Police.
HIM may force release of "mad" JC
mperor David may personally intervene to secure the release of looney MP hopeful Jesus Christ. Mr Christ was booked into the Darmort Correctional Facility
after the double crime of criticising the state and insisting he is the son of runaway outlaw, God.
His Imperial Majesty is reportedly set to order the 'fig's release to prevent a "sympathy vote" in upcoming elections.
he mother of all scandals is how state broadcaster RTL broke the news. And what a scandal it is. Leaked reports from
the Ministry of Peace has revealed that a massive arms deal was struck with the Kingdom of the Capricas earlier this month. Upwards of £80m worth of
arms and military minifigs were sold to what the government of the Empire of Legoland has only recently termed a "rogue state" and "military threat". To add
additional spice, the deal has contravened the government's very own arms embargo it placed on the kingdom last month. 
he Central Bank has devalued the Legoland Pound by 50% in value against the currency of its largest trading partner, ND Land.
The decision was made to enable the printing of hundreds of millions in of new money.
The revaluing of the Empire's currency sees both currencies now share equal parity. Central Bank chief Alexander Rehn said the move should
make exports from the Empire more competitive and should stimulate the availability of credit.
n a dramatic announcement, the LFA has confirmed it is advancing plans to only permit players and managers possessing Lego names from registering
with teams within the Legoland league. The move is expected to see thousands of minifigs rush to apply for new names over the Christmas period when
the application process is set to be opened. The plan is the brainchild of
acting association president and general lardass Henry Fifa, who instigated a similar process of "Legoisation" of club names in recent years.
mperor David may personally intervene to secure the release of looney MP hopeful Jesus Christ. Mr Christ was booked into the Darmort Correctional Facility
after the double crime of criticising the state and insisting he is the son of runaway outlaw, God.
His Imperial Majesty is reportedly set to order the 'fig's release to prevent a "sympathy vote" in upcoming elections.